One of aspects of my present job brings me to transport a significant amount of mail each day. Though I am only moving a distance of about 500 feet between two separate building, it is an obnoxious and generally monotonous task. A week or so ago, while picking up a large bin filled with letters and flat packages, I happened upon a large envelope with the worst scribbling that I had encountered in a while (I get a kick out of looking at some of the locations that packages arrive from). Upon flipping the letter over, I realized that it was not in fact scribbles, but rather a large return address done completely in Chinese, not only on top of a huge pile of other letters, but addressed to me.
Sometime in April I had applied to several schools using the CUCAS online application system. Having found that I would need to pay significantly more than I originally though was necessary, I opted not to give them any additional cash and marked another strike to the board of lost transactions. This large envelope, however, was clearly labeled as having been sent from the CUCAS headquarters, and contained a very legitimate acceptance letter and Visa invitation (they said I should apply for the X, though I specified that I wouldn’t be there for such a long duration).
These letters are always a taunt for me. Gaining university acceptance is easy, getting there is not. I simply don’t have the money to make and support such a trip, however much I want to. China has been my goal for three plus years at this point, and I see no way in which it will stop being such. Fact of the matter is simply that I am obsessed. I’ve been reading Zhang Lijia’s “Socialism is Great!”, which expounds the authors feelings of being stuck with a certain path. I do not think I am stuck, but I’ll be damned in the path isn’t difficult. As my laoshi once said, ‘follow the heart and you will find what you are after’. I have found what I am after, I just do not know how to make it mine.